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I have believed for a long time that the reason I was so stuck in perfectionism for so many years was because I didn't understand the nature of change. I wanted things to be ordered, perfect and the way they were "supposed" to be. It took years of frustration, fighting and finally, infertility to get it through my head that nothing is constant and Jon Kabat-Zin's "You can't fight the waves, but you can learn to surf" was the mantra I needed to start to understand the grip stress had on my life.
Flash forward a couple of decades and people who know me now are astonished when I share stories of the perfectionism, control issues and anger I have left behind. I finally know that there is perfection in imperfection and that being grateful for things as they are without trying to change them allows them to bloom and grow forever (like eidelweiss). :)
SO, here we are, on May 20, 2015. Both of my kids are home from college, my son has finished his Master's at Purdue and has a job waiting for him in the Big Apple in a month. Last night, he proposed to his girlfriend of 7 years and we are all pretty blissed out today. Welcome to our family, dear one!
My daughter finished her freshman year 1000 miles away and drove herself and her roomate home over the weekend. Talk about synchronicity - we have always taken our car in for a trip check, oil change, etc. before we travel. She took that life lesson ingrained from infancy and took her truck in for a check. It turned out that the u-joints and drive train needed to be replaced - they would not have made it home without a major accident. TYJ! THEN, she had to wait a day for the part they ordered to come in. Guess what? They ordered the wrong part and the right one was going to come in the next (next) day. So they had to delay their departure by a day. A minor inconvenience, they were able to work out an extra night stay at the dorm and had a friend help them get their stuff to the storage unit that they now couldn't get to with the truck "sick". All good, right? WELL, thank the Lord, Universe, Force, Guardian Angels - whichever names you associate with our benevolent, merciful Creator - the day they were supposed to leave (Friday) ended up being a horrible weather day - tornadoes, violent thunderstorms, flooding - just awful. They would have had to drive through that and who knows what they would have encountered. They came home Sat/Sun instead, didn't have a drop of rain and made it home in good time. What looked like a major inconvenience ended up being a blessing of protection and safety.
So for me, viewing these changes with a grateful heart and a calmer mind was another gift to see how far I've come in my journey. I stayed Present, Practiced detachment and breathing, and noted my Progress with gratitude for how far I've come. Baby steps have actually brought me a long way - I now view transitions as the part of life that keeps things interesting and allow them to draw me into mindful reflection of my many blessings.
Practice for today:
Take a moment to look out the window, ground yourself in the PRESENT moment. PRACTICE slowing down your breathing - Andrew Weil's In 4 - hold 7 - out 8 - (4 times) is always wonderful for calming and grounding. Notice the PROGRESS you are making learning to stop, breathe, think. I have attached a great stoplight graphic that I use in my classes as a reminder that your P3 is always up to you to use whenever you need it.
Well, today is May's Full Moon and what a gorgeous sight it is going to be - based on last night's view at any rate! Hoping Mike Kaplan's forecast for showers is off base, though he usually isn't. Don't forget to put your crystals in a place they can catch any moonbeams for cleansing and recharging! Do it mindfully and in the Present so you can let them know you appreciate them.
I have a new Practice for this month. I'm going to take Liz Gilbert's idea of a happiness jar and modify it for myself. Each day, I'm going to write one wonderful blessing, healing prayer or acknowledgement of abundance on a sheet of paper and keep it in a jar - you will note that none of these will be regarding diet, exercise or body image!! Then, on the Full Moon in June, also near my birthday, I will read each one, thank Spirit for my blessings and abundance and burn them with incense as an offering of gratitude and presence. I can't dwell on them if they are offered up, I have to keep going and so I'll start again for the next moon cycle. As an endometrial cancer survivor, I was launched surgically into the Crone phase of my life, so I have to use external rituals for connecting with the feminine divine.
I am inviting my goddess circle to do the same and bring their jars with them on June 2nd (next Full Moon) and so it should be quite a fire :)
The importance of ritual and transition and coming of ages is an important way to mark the milestones in our lives. My son is graduating and moving to start his new life as an adult. He and his girlfriend will be getting engaged soon after graduation, then he moves off to the big city to begin his life as an independent, happy, compassionate person - all I've ever wanted for him, so I will miss him like crazy, but know this is why we kiss the boo-boos, do the scout service projects and give them a safe, loving upbringing, so they can go out and do the same. I'm confident his guardian angels and spirits will guide and protect him always.
At an Akashic Record's group reading yesterday, I was told to create something that will help the students' I work with become more aware of their own ability to create, thrive and connect with others. I am taking a Shamanic Journeying class that is designed to bring ceremony and celebration to communities and healing wherever it is needed around the globe. Once again, the threads of many things are coming together to weave my next step in the journey. None of it would be possible with out the acknowledgement of nature, ritual, transition and connection, so that is my Progress for this month - to practice rituals of my own making and share them with others.
Create your own rituals and may you be filled with peace, light and blessings always. Pax.
